For sale: Lots of AAA batteries

You know what stinks? Things that require just one AAA battery.

We're not really going to talk about it, but I just got a new personal grooming tool to keep at work because, apparently, I don't notice that ONE INCREDIBLY IRRITATING nose hair tickling the inside of my nostril when I'm in the comfort of home where I'm surrounded by dozens of tools that could take care of it in a matter of .0001 second. Nope.

It's only when I'm sitting at my desk where I've got a stapler, a silver-plated penguin (don't ask), and my computer mouse, none of which are any good for trimming out that little, annoying bastard nose hair. Usually, I notice when I'm having a conversation and my coworker notices my eyes watering:

"Dave...I had no idea PowerPoint did this to you. Have a tissue!"

(Side note: I'm not above being bored to tears at work, but that's another day's topic)

Well, yesterday, after a bout of waterworks, I finally headed over to the drugstore to grab a grooming tool and some batteries. Grooming tool? Check. "Requires one AAA battery (not included)". Oh hell.

I'm old enough to grow inch-long nose hairs, which means this ain't the first time I've bought batteries. But today is the day I realized that you just...cannot...buy...a single AAA battery.

Sure, maybe at some store in some obscure location they may have them, but in general you're stuck somewhere between 2 and a package that looks like a gymnastics beam.

"Just buy the 2-pack then, dummy."

I get it. But the 2-pack is $5.50. Then you look at the 4-pack and it's only $7.50. And then, the 8-pack is on sale, and then you notice the prices have a "per battery" price, and before long you need a skid loader to get your pack of AAA batteries back to the office and you have to endure the coworkers and their inane "boy, that's an awful lot of AAA batteries there" comments.

There really is no moral to this story except that I have squeaky clean nostrils and a desk drawer full of AAA batteries that I will never, ever need.

Let me know if you need (only) one.

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