Oh boy...

Email at work this morning:

"December Events:

(skip over usual mumbo jumbo)

Special Candlelight Winter Solstice 108 Sun Salutations with Nicki Wednesday, December 21, 12:00pm–12:45pm In yoga, the changing of the seasons is often celebrated by gathering together to perform 108 Sun Salutations. (We will do 4 rounds of 27). Please join us!"

Say what?!?

This is one of those "if you know me, you know what expression I have on my face". If you don't know me, imagine something between receiving an IRS delinquency letter in the mail and the numb stare when one of the kids tells me about some achievement they reached on a video game.

I mean ONE...HUNDRED...AND...EIGHT of something called a "Sun Salutation"? Not 2 sets of 10. Not an even 100. 108!

And not just any Sun Salutations. Special. Winter Solstice. Candlelight!

Holy shit. My honeymoon didn't even have that many angles.

I can picture it now:

- A handful of our company's most Uber-fit 22 year-old women in $85,000 worth of Lululemon.

- One super-skinny hipster guy with a huge bushy beard, too-short running shorts leftover from his track and field days at Drake, and trying a little too hard to get into Pose #12.

- Me, in the same wrinkled flannel and Dockers I've worn every Wednesday since 2004, 7th coffee of the day in hand, standing in the back wondering what the fuck the world has come to.

- Someone called Nicki.

Seriously, I'd go to this, but I know I couldn't handle 4 rounds of 27 of anything, unless it's popcorn shrimp or Reece's Pieces. And I'm 100% sure the "Sun Salutations" they're talking about aren't like, "Hey...what's up sun? Nice to see you"

Thanks for the invite, but I think I'll skip this one and wait for something more traditional like a pot-luck.

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