Happy Birthday to Me!

So this is 37, huh?

Shush it math people. Who asked you anyway?

Speaking of math people, Teenager #3 got all antagonistic when I bemoaned my birthday being on a Monday. Again.

"I swear, my birthday is on a Monday every...single....year!"

"No no," she says, getting all indignant and math-y on me. "That's quite impossible."

Thank goodness we adopted a dog that has virtually no intelligence. I need a break from Low Man on the IQ Totem Pole for a while.

Now, lest you all get panicked that you forgot my birthday, I hereby declare everyone officially off the hook. The biggest reason why is because, outside of very few people, I have no ability to remember birthdays and I have probably neglected to wish any of you a happy birthday every year.

Happy Belated BirthdayS, one and all!

But another reason why is because, historically, my birthday falls on the same day as "International Bad Ju Ju Day" and I am absolutely, positively OK with the day going by without any significant happening.

When I was a kid, it was the worst.

First off, although scientifically my birthday only falls on Monday 6-out-of-7 years, without fail, the weather on my birthday is destined to be miserable. (Oddly enough, it's 26 degrees and full sun right now, which is probably the most amazing weather I've ever experienced on my birthday.)

Even when I lived in warmer climates, my childhood birthdays are full of gray, cold and snowy memories. Maybe when I turn 50 in a fe......errr....40 in a few years, I'll force someone to buy me a ticket to someplace where it's guaranteed to be warm.

But, also, I'm not entirely joking about the Bad Ju Ju stuff. There was a string of years when I was a kid where trains and airplanes crashed on my birthday punctuated by 1982, when an Air Florida plane crashed into the 14th Street Bridge in Washington D.C. on January 13. While that was happening, a Metro subway train also crashed in D.C., killing three people. (I should mention, we lived in the D.C. area then, so this was "in our backyard.")

A couple years later, I woke up on my birthday to the news of a train crash in Africa that killed more than 400 people. More recently, that smooth-talking Italian cruise ship guy also crashed the Costa Concordia into an island a few years back, killing 32 people.

Things have calmed down quite a bit, and I think the Ju Ju might be getting indifferent and tired as it ages, too. A few years back I had a tire blow out on my car on the way back to work from my lunch break. (It was for sure a Monday, and I had to change out the tire in literally 10-below zero wind chill).

A couple years ago, as Maggie reminded me last night, I had the full-on influenza.

One year our previous dog, Annie, managed to eat my entire birthday cake when Sarah wasn't looking. I never even saw it.

Maybe the worst thing is this one time some wiseacre at my previous office bought me an insanely gigantic helium balloon and put it on my office chair and I didn't have the heart to immediately pop it like I wanted to. That caused all manner of people who I wanted to leave me alone to come and make small talk throughout the day.

It might be because I recently upped my anxiety meds, but I'm actually in a good place this January 13th, and I'm perfectly content doing my ordinary thing on an ordinary day and hoping that it comes and goes uneventfully.

I think I actually think that the best possible birthday for me would be a day that was really, really special for everyone else around me.

So, Happy (my)Birthday to All of You! I hope your Monday -- and even your whole week -- is special and warm and filled with GOOD surprises and Ju Ju!


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